top of page

WHAT'S HAPPENING

Svetlana Trantastic

Auntie Svetty’s Astrological and Life Advice for Sunday, July 14



Some time ago I discovered Psychic Susan Lynn online. She has since rebranded herself a “spiritual navigator” and dropped the title of “psychic.” Susan delighted me because she promised Trump’s health would be in decline and told me how the stars backed up her psychic knowing. I believed because I wanted to believe. The time has passed for Donald Jessica Trump to live on this earth with us, and yet he still breathes and shits his pants and appears on television. I shake my fist at the cloudless sky. “YOU LIED TO ME, SUSAN LYNN!” I sob on my knees for the state of the world. The upcoming election is terrifying. Donald Trump continues to breathe air. I cannot stand it.  


There is a fixed star called Algol which will be in conjunction with Mars and Uranus this week. Algol is considered the most unfortunate star in the heavens. It sits in the constellation of Perseus in the beheaded eye of Medusa. Uranus is all about disruption and change. Uranus is currently at 26 degrees, aligned with Algol in the sign of Taurus. Mars, the god of war, is approaching; currently at 21 degrees and joining this triple conjunction this week. The triple conjunction of Algol, Uranus and Mars persists until August 7th. This alignment will never occur in our lifetimes again. Is this a random alignment in the sky or can we expect heads to roll? Algol also rules over electrocution. 


I am losing my religion. Astrology has been letting me down. Politics has been letting me down. The end of times drag on, drag on, drag on.  Could the empire just collapse already? Can someone dig a hole for me to stick my head in? Astrological signs all point to heads rolling, yet the heads of politicians remain on their necks. I am disgruntled. I have lost faith. I am ready to wake up from this awful simulation and I would like to talk to the management, whomever that is! I am not sure how to make any sense of the world around us at this current time, at least not with the tools of astrology as I understand them. Feel free to shake your fist at the cloudless sky and curse the lies I have shared with you as I yell at the sky about the miscalculations of Susan Lynn.     


In an attempt to leave you with something positive to reflect on: It is summer. We haven’t destroyed the earth yet. You can still make art, friends, and enjoy your family. Embrace somebody. Float the river. Pet a cat. Hold a caterpillar. Enjoy a picnic. Don’t let the stars affect your mood. Build a guillotine if you have time and just keep it handy. Get drunk, get high, and over-indulge in food if you’d like. Or stay sober if you prefer and exercise every day if that’s what you like to do. Use gasoline to start a great big fire if that’s what the voices are telling you. Life is short. Live your best life while you can. I am an authority on absolutely nothing. This week, anyway, you’ll have to find promises elsewhere, but here is some life advice: drink a lot of water. It’s good for you. That’s all I have this week. I’m looking forward to Leo season. I am over this full moon in Capricorn and it isn’t even full yet. Fucking practical Capricorn! I’ve had it.  


I will try to write something more clever next week. Take good care of yourself. I am doing the best I can for the moment.


Jul 13 – 6:49 pm – First Quarter Moon

Jul 18 – 8:57 am – Jupiter quintile Neptune

Jul 20 – 4:43 pm – Mars enters Gemini

Jul 21 – 6:17 am – Full Moon in Capricorn

Jul 22 – 3:44 am – Sun enters Leo

22 views0 comments

Comentarios


bottom of page